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i am an expert ghost tracker
it is i pongus the ghostkeeper. i have come to you here today to drop upon you my knowledgingus of ghosts and a rare breed of ghost that i dont think many of you know of. our story begins here as all other stories do, i woke up on a saturday morning and as i was on my way through the evening i received a phone call from the mother of my one friend, robert. robert died of a viagra overdose on tuesday evening at around 3 pm. after contemplating for 20 seconds i responded to his mother and asked if i could come over for a visit, reluctently she said yes and i paid a visit to her home. i brought my ghost voice recorder but thats only what it is called in simple terms it is a wireless cellphone with aluminum foil wrapped around the upper half of it and on the bottom is a rabbits foot along with a keychain of my face. as i drove to his mothers house and let myself inside i could already hear strange noises coming from one of the bedrooms, it sounded like ghostly moans or something. i pulled out my ghost recorded and took samples of this and after they stopped roberts mother came downstairs and greeted me. after this i made my way down to the basement where roberts room used to be, this is when my pongus meter was off the rails, it started to feel as though someone was pushing up behind me and thats when i realized it. i encountered a rare breed of ghost.

i remembered the cause of death of my dearest robert, viagra. it was none other than a bonerghost also known as a bonerghiest. i quickly reached into my back pocket and grabbed a clove of garlic and began rubbing my rear end with it to keep roberts bonerghost at bay. i layed flat against the ground on my back and started screaming. roberts mother came downstairs and turned on the lights revealing roberts uncle in the room, the clove of garlic inside my rear, and my tears all over the floor. i quickly crawled up the staircase and out through the front door. give me your questions

here is the ghost recording

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